A Night with Kaley Cuoco

A Night with Kaley Cuoco

I went to comic-con for work and it was no fun at all. My bosses had kept me too busy wasting my time to actually enjoy anything, then dumped me off at the hotel once they had scored tickets to some movie studio party. Up in my room I felt useless and abandoned. I drank a couple of the small liquor bottles from the mini fridge before I decided to go down and drink in the bar like an adult.

A while later I was a few drinks deep and feeling pretty high when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to find a pretty blond smiling at me. Just beyond her I could see two well groomed guys dressed for a night on the town. They actually looked a lot like my bosses only slightly sleazier.

“There you are, b*o,” the blond said. Even slightly inebriated I could tell by the look on her face that she was throwing a Hail Mary in the hopes that I could help her get away from the sleazy dudes.

I am a generally decent guy, but even if I wasn’t, I would have helped her just because it meant screwing with those two guys. I called upon all the drunken confidence I could muster.

“Hey, s*s,” I said. The guys looked disappointed.

“See you guys. Nice to meet you.” The blond waved them away then slid onto the stool beside me and put her drink down on the bar.

The guys seemed about ready to keep trying but I was still looking right at them. I am not an imposing physical specimen but, as far as they knew, I was her brother and that made me a serious cock-block. They gave up and left, no doubt seeking slower and drunker prey.

Beside me the blond let out a relieved breath and took a big drink of her cocktail. “Thanks,” she said. “Those guys just would not get the message.”

“No worries,” I said.

“Sometimes a girl just needs to relax.”

“Its not just girls.”

“Amen.” She raised her glass and we toasted.

I downed what was left of my whiskey and signaled the bartender for another. When the blond saw him coming she finished her own drink and placed the empty next to mine.

“So what are you relaxing from?” she asked.

I considered a lengthy explanation of the trials of being a software engineer working for investment guys who had no idea how anything actually functioned but I decided she didn’t want to hear that. It wouldn’t help either of us relax so I cut it down.

“My bosses are jerks who barely know how to turn a computer on. They forced me to come here then dragged me around all day to explain our software to a bunch of other jerks.” The bartender brought our drinks and I took a fresh swallow. “How ’bout you?”

“I spent the afternoon answering questions from a bunch of overgrown c***dren, and most of the evening avoiding sleazy entertainment people. Probably people just like your bosses.”

“Or like those two guys.”

“Exactly. After all that, I decided I needed a drink so I came in here for a good stiff one.”

“I’ll give you a stiff one.”

I said it without thinking. She went still beside me and I blushed as red and as hotly as I ever had in my life.

“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean anything. I’ve had a few and…” I looked over at her found her laughing, her hand over her mouth as she tried to keep the noise down. I was relieved. It was much better to be laughed at by a woman than to be screamed at or slapped in the middle of a bar. I gulped down half of my drink.

“That was awesome,” she said, still laughing.

The alcohol helped my embarrassment fade and I raised my own glass to her. We toasted and drank again. She wiped a tear from her eye and I was just thinking that she looked familiar when I suddenly recognized her. She was Kaley Cuoco, star of everyone’s favorite geek-centric TV show “The Big Bang Theory.” Maybe it was the alcohol, the still fading bout of extreme embarrassment, or maybe a combination of both, but I managed to keep my cool. I was a fan of the show and definitely a fan of Kaley herself. She had been a regular feature in many of my fantasies, the most vivid of which flashed through my mind right at that moment.

Kaley saw the look of recognition on my face and waited for a response, but I just turned back to the bar and took a drink.

“That’s it?” she asked. “No freak out, no selfies?”

“I’m not given to freak outs,” I said, “and I’ve never had much interest in selfies.”

“Oh really? That’s a change of pace.” She sipped her drink. “So what are you interested in?”

“Well, I watch your show and get all the jokes so…”

“So you’re a nerd.” She was smiling so I could tell that she didn’t mean it as an insult.

“Big ol’ nerd.”

“How big?” She asked, in a comically sexy voice.

“Almost nine inches,” I said, again speaking without thinking. I suppose the alcohol and Kaley’s easy manner had loosened my tongue. The size of my cock is certainly not something I would normally reveal to someone I had just met, but I was pretty lit by that time.

Kaley laughed again but then she saw I wasn’t k**ding. “Seriously?”

I nodded. She took a gulp of her cocktail.

“If you’re joking you should come clean now,” she said.

“Not joking.”

She took another sip and I felt her eyes on me while I stared into my drink.

“I’ve never…I mean…” She fell silent for a moment. “I bet something like that could really help a girl relax.”

I looked at her in a kind of mellow surprise. She looked at me, biting her lip and waiting for a response. I nearly laughed out loud. The notion that Kaley Cuoco wanted my cock was ridiculous. I was pretty sure this was going to result in more embarrassment but I figured the two of us could use another good laugh so I went along.

Looking into her eyes I gave her the most confident voice I could manage. “I bet it could.”

I expected a laugh or some corny comeback, but instead Kaley downed the rest her drink in one swallow and slid off her bar stool.

“Lets go,” she said.

After a moment of shock, I slid off my own stool and slapped some money on the bar. There was no time to get change. I think I left a fifty dollar tip.

Grabbing my hand, she pulled he out of the bar and across the hotel lobby.

That was the first time I had actually gotten a look at Kaley below the neck and, while I could only see her from the back, it was a pretty good view. She was wearing black slacks that were loose in the legs but very form fitting around the hips and showed off her perky caboose nicely. Her blond hair was up in a short pony tail and she was wearing a kind of white halter top that left her upper back and shoulders bare. There was a tattoo of some Japanese kanji on her lower back, just above the waistband of her slacks. I didn’t know what it meant but at the time it seemed to read “follow me.”

Halfway across the lobby the alcohol began to catch up with us and Kaley turned a heel. I grabbed her around the waist and kept her upright but almost immediately lost my own balance. We laughed and clung to each other till we had things under control and got moving again. An elderly couple got in the elevator ahead us so we spent the ride leaning against each other and swaying back and forth as we tried not to make drunken fools of ourselves. At the door to her suite Kaley fumbled for her key. I grabbed her hips and ground myself against that perky caboose. She giggled and ground her ass right back against me till she managed to get the door open.

Just inside she pushed me up against the wall and kissed me. I kissed back, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her hard against my body. My hands slid down to her ass and squeezed, making her moan in my mouth. Her hand slipped down between us and traced the outline of my rapidly hardening cock.

“Ooh, you weren’t k**ding,” Kaley said. Grabbing my hand, she pulled me deeper into the suite and stood me in front a plush couch. Her hands clumsily unbuttoned my pants and yanked them down to my ankles, leaving me standing there with a huge tent in my boxers. She dropped to her knees and pulled at my boxers, dragging my cock downwards until it cleared the waistband and sprang back up in front of her. She stared at it open-mouthed, clearly in awe of its size. I was already pretty hard by then but when her hands came up and wrapped around me I instantly swelled up the last inch.

“Oh my god!” Kaley said. “Now this is what I call a stiff one.” She got a laugh from me, then a moan as her hands squeezed me. “Sit!”

I sat down with my ass on the edge of the couch and leaned back while Kaley set about removing my shoes and socks. I slipped my shirt over my head and let her pull my pants and boxers off from around my ankles, leaving me completely nude. The whole situation was unreal, me naked with my hard-on waving in the air while Kaley Cuoco knelt on the floor between my legs, but I was very prepared to roll with it.

“You are so big,” Kaley said. Her hand slid up along the underside of my cock. “So long.” She wrapped her hand around it, her fingers unable to completely encircle it. “So thick.” She licked her lips. “And your balls are huge too.” Her hand slid down and cupped my balls where they hung down over the edge of the couch. “I bet they’re full of cum too. I bet you’re gonna blow a huge load.”

I was a little surprised by how dirty she sounded but I liked it.

“I bet you’re right,” I said.

Kaley started rubbing and squeezing my shaft with both hands. Even together they still only covered about half of my length. Her hands roamed over the head of my cock, smearing my already leaking fluids across her palms. She began stroking me, her hands gliding wetly up and down my rock hard member.

I thanked God for the alcohol at that point because, even though I was sitting there with Kaley Cuoco’s soft, warm hands jerking my cock, I felt very relaxed and there was little danger I would come right away.

Then she leaned forward and licked me. Her tongue slid wetly up along the whole underside of my cock from base to tip. Numbed by alcohol or not, I almost came immediately. She began to kiss and lick up and down the length of me, her hands squeezing and stroking the parts of me her mouth couldn’t reach. This would have been heavenly with any woman but when this woman turned her head just the right way, I could see her face clearly and I was reminded of who she was. She was the sexy, famous, much lusted after Kaley Cuoco and she was really going to town my cock.

The feelings from down below changed and I saw that Kaley had switched from licking me to rubbing her entire face along my cock. She slid up and down, one cheek then the other, then her nose and her forehead rubbing right along the length of me. I could feel her breath hot against the base of my shaft. “Soo big.” She rubbed the side of her face against it again. “Soo hard.” She had gone beyond just liking my cock, she was practically worshiping it.

Her head reared up and her eyes met mine for just a moment before she leaned forward and took my cock in her mouth. I moaned as she slid down, taking nearly half of my length in at once. She moaned and her head began moving up and down. The heat of her mouth and the feeling of her lips and tongue flowing over me were unreal. She pulled back and I was treated to to the sight of Kaley Cuoco breathing hard, her face smeared with saliva and pre-cum, her lust filled eyes focused on my cock. I throbbed in almost painful arousal at the sight. With a deep breath she dove back onto me, this time taking me in till I felt the head of my cock tickle the back of her throat. Holding me there she looked up, her bright green eyes meeting mine while she sucked hard. I gurgled wordlessly at both the sight and the intense sensations that shot though me. Kaley’s eyes sparkled as she went back to bobbing up and down again, sending wave after wave of pleasure through me.

She backed off once more. This time when she leaned forward, instead of taking me in her mouth again, her head went down lower and I felt her tongue slide over my scrotum. Her mouth closed around one of my balls and she gently sucked, then switched to the other side. She gripped my shaft with both hands, working it while she carefully but thoroughly sucked and licked at my balls. Her hands were soft, her tongue was wet, and her breath was hot. I could have sat there enjoying her attentions for a lifetime but I knew there was no way that could happen. When she saw my sack begin to tighten she gave me one last wet lick from my balls all the way to the tip of my cock.

“I want you to come now,” Kaley said. “I want to see this big dick shoot a huge load.” She slid her mouth over me again, bobbing and sucking hard while her hands stroked the part of me her mouth couldn’t cover. She was not fooling around and the intense sensations began to overwhelm me. My balls rose up against the base of my cock and she knew I was close. She sat up, her hands now stroking the whole length of me in unrelenting pleasure. “Come with this big dick. I want you to come and empty these big balls.”

I came with a groan. My cock swelled in Kaley’s hands and a huge spurt of cum exploded from the tip, hitting her right in the cheek. She flinched but her hands never faltered in their stroking. A second spurt of cum hit her right under the chin. “Yeah, come for me!” she said. A third and fourth spurt splashed against her chest. A last powerful spurt shot out onto her collar bone, followed by a smaller one that landed on her wrist. She didn’t stop working my cock. I moaned and my hips bucked as her hands pulled me beyond the normal pleasure of coming and just kept going. More cum rolled out of the tip of my cock and oozed down over her hands.

When she decided she had milked me for all I had, she finally stopped stroking. I thought she was done but then I felt her mouth slide over the head of my cock, making me groan and buck my hips again. She slurped at the cum that had already emerged then greedily sucked out everything that was left. Satisfied that she had gotten it all, she let go of me and I collapsed bonelessly on the couch.

She sat back on her heels and I watched in amazement as Kaley Cuoco licked my cum off her fingers and her wrist. “Mmm,” she said. “Those big balls make delicious cum.” She wiped the cum off her face and neck, licking that off her fingers too.

She stood and walked over to the wet bar on the far side of the room where she wiped her face with a towel. There was a clinking of glasses and she came back to the couch with the towel and a drink. After handing me the drink, a whiskey on the rocks, she knelt down between my legs again. She toweled me off while I sipped at the whiskey.

“Now then,” Kaley said, as she finished cleaning me up, “what’s it gonna take to get this thing hard again?” Between the alcohol and coming as hugely as I just had, I didn’t think she was going to have much luck but I didn’t want to tell her that. She tried rubbing my limp cock but got no response. A disappointed look appeared on her face but was quickly replaced with a grin.

“I’ll bet you could get hard for Penny.” She grabbed the drink from me and downed the rest of it. “Come on.” She pulled me to my feet and led me to the bedroom.

Standing close to me at the foot of the bed, she ran her hands over my chest. “I don’t normally sleep with a guy on the first date,” she said. “Well, not anymore.”

Even in my buzzed and very relaxed condition I perceived a distinct change in her. Her voice and mannerisms, even her body language was different. She was in character now, Penny instead of Kaley. Role playing joined the list of things I was doing for the first time that night.

“A few years ago,” Penny said, “I never would have dreamed of sleeping with a guy like you.” Her hands roamed over my ribs. “But ever since I started dating Leonard I’ve had a thing for nerds.”

“Who’s Leonard?” I asked, playing along.

“My ex-boyfriend,” Penny said. “He lives across the hall.” She kissed me. Her hands slid around behind me and squeezed my ass. I twitched in surprise. She laughed and pushed me backward so that I sat on the bed.

I looked up at her as she stood over me, her nipples were stiff and poking at the fabric of her halter top. She was beautiful and sexy, her elegance spoiled, or maybe highlighted, by the cum stains I had left on her chest.

“You’ve never been with a girl as hot as me have you?” She ran her hands over her hips.

I shook my head. That was just true, I didn’t have to pretend.

“I’m way out of your league huh? Well, this is your lucky day. I think I might be able to get over my ex by having sex with another big nerd.” Her eyes focused on my flaccid but still sizable member. “And you are a very big nerd.”

She reached behind her back to unfasten the halter top but seemed to have some trouble. A look of concentration crossed her face and I was reminded that we were both a little tipsy. The top at last came free and she whipped it over her head with a laugh. The sight of her naked from the waist up made my cock twitch. Broad shoulders emphasized her long, lean torso. Her breasts were round and full but not too big, just right for her athletic frame. She ran her hands over them, pinching the hard nubbins of her nipples and smiling at the approval she saw on my face. Her hands unfastened the front of her slacks and opened them just enough to reveal the rest of her stomach. She ran her finger tips up her flat, lightly defined abs, swaying her hips as she went.

“I have to keep in shape,” Penny said. “It used to be because I wanted to be an actress, but now its because I’m a pharmaceutical rep. I have to be sexy so all those doctors will buy d**gs from me.” She rand her hands over her toned abs again. “I do a lot of crunches to keep my stomach flat. I also do a lot of squats.” She turned sideways to me and ran her hands over the curve of her ass. “I have to keep my ass round and tight.” She slapped her ass with a grin. “Would you like to see it?”

I nodded emphatically.

Penny turned all the way around, arching her back and pushing her ass out at me as she slowly pushed her slacks down. A pair of lacy blue boy shorts came in to view. Somehow they highlighted the roundness of her ass cheeks as much as they covered them. As she bent farther down the shape of her still covered pussy came into view between her thighs. The crotch of her panties was soaking wet.

When her pants were all the way down she suddenly lost her balance and had to place her hands on the ground to keep from falling over. She laughed and looked at me from between her legs, her head nearly touching the floor. “I do a lot of yoga to stay flexible too.” Standing back up, she spun around and ran her hands up the sides of her body from her thighs to her neck.

Any lingering doubts about my resilience faded away as I saw my cock begin to swell again. Penny saw it too and bit her lip in anticipation. One of her hands slid down into her blue panties while the other squeezed her breast. “Its been almost two weeks since I’ve had sex, and two weeks is a long time for me.” She fingered herself and watched as my cock continued to grow. Finally she put her thumbs into the waistband of her panties and pushed them down to her ankles. Stepping out of them, she stood up and displayed her pink, smoothly shaven pussy. A smile lit her face as my cock pulsed and grew to full size. “Mmm,” she said. “Are you ready for the best pussy a nerd like you has ever had?”

I nodded eagerly and she stepped closer. My hands roamed over her back, rubbing and squeezing her ass and thighs as I kissed and licked her breasts. I took one of her nipples in my mouth and sucked, drawing a gasp from her.

She climbed on the bed, placing her knees to either side of me. We kissed as she lowered herself down, her naked torso rubbing against mine till she was sitting on top of my thighs. She writhed in my arms, her burning sex leaving a wet trail on my stomach as she rocked her hips against me. Lifting herself up she shoved her hand down between us, grabbed my cock and positioned it at the entrance to her pussy. She started to push down onto me but moaned and stopped after I was only a little way inside her. Her fingers scratched at my shoulders as she slowly began moving up and down, taking more and more of me in each time. “So thick,” she said. I ran my hands up her back and kissed her neck. With the few girls I had been with it usually went just about like this, them taking around half of me in before they started to freak out. Of course, none of them had enjoyed my size as much as Penny was.
She wrapped her arms around my head. “Soo big,” she said, her breath hot against my scalp. “I want it all.” Before her words had even registered with me, she raised her hips one last time and dropped down onto me with all her weight. She shrieked as I stretched and filled her. We looked into each others eyes for a moment, both of us shocked by the sudden and total penetration, then Penny’s eyes rolled up and she started to come. Her whole body shook and convulsed so wildly that I had to wrap my arms tightly around her just to keep her from falling off. She clawed at my head till I was worried she was going to tear my hair out.

When she finally finished coming I expected her to take a breather but she immediately began rocking her hips. Soon she was bouncing up and down, dropping onto my cock faster and faster, her pussy stretching and tightening around me. She started clawing at me again, gasping and moaning into my hair. “So big.”

“You like it Penny?”

“I love it!”

“Was Leonard as big as me?”

“No one’s as big as you. Oh my god!” She came again. This orgasm wasn’t as powerful as the first but I still had to hold her steady while she shook and trembled. This time, when she was done she went limp in my arms.

Now it was my turn.

I spun us around onto the bed and dropped Penny on her back. Kneeling above her, I grabbed her ankles and held her legs apart so that I could see her clean shaven pussy, now wet and swollen. I slowly pushed back inside her, not stopping till I was in all the way to the hilt. She wailed in both pain and pleasure and I let out a moan of my own. The feeling was incredible. I had never been all the way inside a woman before. All the girls I had been with were too afraid let me try but Penny was taking me all the way and loving every inch. I made the most of it. Slowly I pulled almost all the way out then pushed all the way back in, reveling in the intense new sensations I was experiencing. Penny’s head was thrown back, her eyes closed. She moaned and thrashed every time I penetrated her, stretching her hit, pink pussy with my girth.

“Did Leonard ever make you come like I do?” I asked, pushing all the way into her.


“I heard he was the king of foreplay. He never made you come like that?”

“No! Not even after an hour of eating me out. Ohh god!”

I started speeding up, thrusting faster and faster, bottoming out every time. I could feel my balls slapping against her ass cheeks with every long thrust. Penny began to tense up. Her moans became one long wail and she came again. I held myself all the way inside her and savored the feeling of her pussy clenching and pulsing as she came on my cock.

“Am I the best nerd you’ve ever had?” I asked.

“Oh god yes!” Penny went limp beneath me. “No comparison.”

“Turn over and show me what all those squats have done for you.”

She rolled weakly onto her stomach then pushed herself up onto her hands and knees. The squats had definitely paid off. The view from behind Penny was spectacular, not just her ass but also her hips and thighs. The whole package was gorgeous. My cock throbbed as if demanding to tap that ass. I grabbed hold of her and slowly pushed myself back inside. With my hands on her hips, the kanji tattoo on her lower back was framed by my thumbs. Right then it seemed to read “welcome home.”

“Do you like the way I fuck you Penny?” I asked, pulling out and thrusting back into her.

“I love the way you fuck me.”

“Has anyone ever fucked you like this?” I thrust into her again.


I thrust into her. “Not any of the guys you met out here in California?”

“Not even close.”

I worked up to a steady rhythm, sliding mostly out then thrusting hard back into her.

“What about those farm boys back home in Nebraska?” I asked. “Did any of them fuck you like this?”

“No! No one in Nebraska fucked me like this!”

“What about Leonard? Did Leonard ever fuck you this good?”

“Ohh, God no!”

“But I’m a nerd just like him.” I started to speed up.

“Oh god, you are not a nerd like him. Unnggh. You are a way better nerd!”

“How am I a better nerd?” I started thrusting harder.

“You have a…ohh, a big nerd dick and you know how to fuck me with it!”

“You like my nerd dick?” I was slamming into her now. The sound of my hips slapping against her ass cheeks echoed around the room.

“I love it!” she screamed.

I stopped thrusting and held myself inside her.

“Leonard’s apartment is just across the hall,” I said. “If you keep screaming like that he’ll hear you.”

“Ohh.” She squirmed against me, trying to get me moving again. “Fuck Leonard.”

“Not just him, they’ll all hear you. Sheldon, Howard, Raj…they’ll know what we’re doing.”

“I don’t care, just fuck me.”

I thrust a few more times then stopped again.

“Bernadette will hear you too,” I said. “She’ll know you’re getting fucked by a big dick in here.”

“She only wishes she could get fucked by a dick like this. You’d…ohh! You’d tear that squeaky little hobbit in half!”

I started thrusting again, harder and faster.

Penny’s hands grabbed at the sheets. “Oh fuck!” she wailed. “Fuck me with that big nerd dick!”

Her pussy began to tighten up.

“Yes! Yes! Fuck! Fuck! Yes! Ohh god!” She came again.

I didn’t stop to let her rest this time. The rampant thrusting and dirty talking role play had pushed me beyond any control. When Penny’s arms gave out and she collapsed onto her stomach I followed her down and kept fucking her. The whole bed began to bounce as I slammed into her again and again.

“I’m gonna come inside you Penny!”

“Yes! Come inside me you big nerd! Give it to me!”

With one last thrust I rammed myself as far inside her as I could and let loose, roaring as I poured my cum deep into her pulsing hot pussy.

“Unnnnh!” Penny’s face was buried in the bedsheets, muffling her wordless moan. She writhed and bucked under me as I ground into her, giving her everything I had left.

When I finally started to soften, I rolled off of her. We were both wrung out and exhausted so I wasn’t surprised to find that Kaley had fallen asleep almost immediately. She lay there limp, sweaty and drooling a little with a sleepy smile on her face. Kaley or Penny, famous or not, she was without a doubt the hottest girl I had ever been with and the best sex I had ever had.

I woke the next morning to the distant sound of a ringing phone. Opening my eyes I saw Kaley Cuoco’s naked form climb out of bed and stumble out of the room. She answered the phone and I heard her having a harried conversation with whoever was one the other end of the line. Coming back into the bedroom she made a halfhearted attempt to cover herself then gave up.

God, she looked great, even fresh from bed and hungover after a night of drinking and fucking.

“I have to go,” she said. “Like right now. Thanks for last night and everything,” her eyes traveled to my soft but still sizable cock and a smile flitted across her face, “but I have to go. I have a flight to catch. Let yourself out OK?” She bolted into the bathroom, giving me a last look at her bubbly ass before she closed the door behind her.

I shrugged and climbed out of bed. My hangover wasn’t as bad I had expected. Maybe the vigorous sex and purged some of the poison from my system. I got dressed and was about to leave when I saw Kaley’s phone on the couch. After some thought I entered my number in her contacts list and labeled it “Stress Relief Nerd.” I didn’t really have any hopes that she would call but you just never know.

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