Tell it to My Heart


Author’s note: I would like to send out an enormous thank you to LittleAlison for her never ending encouragement, guidance, support and general help with this story. And also for tolerating my constant pestering. She’ll disagree with me, but I firmly believe, if not for her, this story would not have ever seen the light of day. Thank you again dear Alison.


Tell It To My Heart

Chapter One

The introduction of Andi and Lilly

She walked into my life January 25th, 2016. The students had just come back to class for the spring semester here at Central State University. The new procedure for the maintenance guys, in my case woman, was to call campus security when we needed access to a room that needed some sort of work. This new procedure was due to one maintenance guy, who got caught stealing stuff from the university. One bad apple spoiling it for everyone else.

Being the only woman in the maintenance department wasn’t easy. I always had to prove myself. Some of the guys accepted me, others hated me. There was no in between. One even tried to get me fired. I worked second shift, so I could see as few of them as possible.

I received a work order that over half the lights in the classroom C514 were out. I called security to let me in. After waiting a few minutes I heard the ding of the elevator at the other end of the long hallway. Then I heard the clomp, clomp, clomp, of the boots of what i knew was a security guard.

As the sound was getting closer I looked up to see if it might be a security guard that I knew. Some of them didn’t like me either. It was a silhouette I didn’t recognize. Someone new I thought.

She was a little more than 40 feet away when I started to really notice her. She looked to be about 5’5″, with those big clunky boots on, maybe shorter. She was on the thinner side and maybe late 20’s like me. Not quite shoulder length blond hair that curved slightly as it came down to frame her pretty face. She lit up as walked under each light of the hallway, as if she was under a spotlight for one second each. Her hair shone brighter the closer she got to me.

She either bought a size smaller uniform pants or had them tailored, because they fit tight and showed off her perfectly proportioned curves. Bringing my gaze back up to her face I was met with the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. Light blue, like the color of the sky, with pretty makeup that made them look even bigger. They sparkled as if they had a light source of their own. I found myself staring at her. I wanted to break the stare but somehow felt it might hurt if I did. My heart skipped a beat, cut it out heart she’s probably not gay. When she got close enough, my eyes were finally torn away from hers by the shiny security badge with the name “Stapleton” underneath it.

It would be difficult to accurately tell any other physical attributes due to all the safety gear, vest, coat, equipment belt with….hand cuffs?…. hum…..

“Hi I’m Lilly.” She said with a big smile but still a work like demeanor.

My heart was beating faster than normal. “Hi….I’m, I’m, I’m, …. Andi …. maintenance.” I stuttered for the first time in my life.

“Yeah, I noticed.” As she pointed to my oval name tag.

“You,…you,…must be new here. l mean, I’ve been here 5 years and never saw you before.” I said while trying to hide how nervous I was.

“Yeah, just finished training. This is my first day on the job.” She said confidently. “So You need C514 opened?”

“Yes.”I squeaked.

“Andi, huh? Did your dad want a boy or something?” She said as she slid the key into the lock.

I started to finally calm down a little. “Yeah, I have two younger sisters too, Sami, and Charlee. He never got that boy he was hoping for.”

“Lilly. Is that short for anything or are you just Lilly?” I asked, genuinely interested.

“Lillyanna. But the only person who calls me that is my over protective mom.” She said in a slightly perturbed voice….. “So what’s the problem in here?”

“Well, the work order says half the lights are out in here.” I said looking down at the paper I my hand, my heart still beating faster than it should.

“Well, let’s see.” She walked into the room and flipped on the switch,…..all the lights came on, all of them. She turned back to look at me in the doorway. Lilly’s beautiful eyes sparkling. A quizzical smile broadened across her face. Heart, stop beating so fast, I’m gonna start to sweat!

“Well, it looks like their all working, so I guess your job is done here.” She said half joking.

Looking up at the lights and scratching my head. “You might be right, but I’d better hang around here a few minutes just to see if they start to flicker out or something.”

“Oh good, can I hang here with you for a few minutes? I don’t need to be anywhere for a little while. I’d like to rest my feet.” She said with some excitement.

“Sure, I’d like that, grab a seat. I don’t get to chat much in this bilecik escort job. Only a few of the other maintenance guys will even talk to me.” I said with a smile and more excitement than I wanted to.

She sits backwards in the student desk chair in front of the one I picked. She’s facing me with a desk between us. She started looking me over, I don’t think I’m bad looking, 5’10” 135lbs. short black hair, with a shine of its own. I have a strong jawline, and high cheekbones some women would be envious of. Big brown eyes and i usually wore very little makeup. You can’t tell with my baggy maintenance uniform on, but I’m petty curvy for a tall woman, or so I’ve been told. I like to think I carry myself with a quiet confidence that some people confuse as shyness.

“So, a woman in a man’s world sort of thing, hey Andi?” She said flashing a friendly smile while she made eye contact with me.

“Yeah, I guess so. Being gay doesn’t help either…..homophobic assholes… most of them anyway.” I said sounding a little disgusted and running my hand through my hair front to back.

“I know what you mean,….the woman in a man’s world thing,….not the gay thing.” She nervously tried to recover. “I mean being gay is fine, it’s just not me. My younger sister came out three years ago, and I love her to pieces, it’s just not for me.” Completely breaking eye contact with me and looking down at the floor when she said that last part.

She’s hiding something, but what, why? I thought about digging a little deeper, but didn’t. I figured, she’ll tell me when she feels more comfortable. But I have to assume she’s not gay since she said she wasn’t. Yet I felt an attraction to her, which normally doesn’t happen to me when women say they’re straight. You want me to see where this goes heart? Really?…. Are you sure? You know what happened last time!

“So, how do you like working with campus security? How do the other security people treat you?” I said just keeping the conversation going. Keeping her talking like my heart wanted me to.

“It’s OK, I guess. Like you, I have some guys that aren’t happy about it. But unlike you there are a couple of us women in the department, so I’m not alone. She said shifting back in her chair and tapping her light blue painted nails that match her eyes on the desk between us.

We continued talking for over an hour before we both realized how much time had passed. We both headed towards the door with all the lights still working. I know heart, I like her too, she’s very easy to talk to. but she said she’s not gay.

“Hey, you want to grab a cup of coffee or something after your shift is over?” She said with a friendly smile. “You get off at 11 too, right?” Her smile now turning to a cheeky grin.

“Aren’t you tired of talking.” I said not knowing what her real intention was.

“No, I like talking to you. It’s easy, like we are old friends or something.”

“Well then,…old friend…how about something a little stronger than coffee.” I said trying to see how far she wanted to take this. “I mean if you don’t mind going to a gay bar?”

“Trust me, it won’t be my first time at a gay bar!” She said as her pretty face lit up, and her cheeky grin grew even bigger. My heart started beating faster than it should have….again. Cut it out heart, she said she’s not gay…..but you’re right, she’s sending us mixed messages.


She followed me in her car several city blocks down to Aunt Charlie’s Lounge. I thought she was right behind me when I sat down at the bar. What could be keeping her I thought. A few seconds later she walked through the door. It was like looking at her for the first time all over again. Gone were the clunky boots, safety vest, and over sized coat, replaced a silk white blouse filled out nicely, with buttons undone to show some cleavage, an unbuttoned fitted black leather jacket, blue jeans and…..bright pink sneakers? And of course those sparkling eyes! Stop it heart, I’m not telling you again.

“Hi again!” She said as she walked over next to me with a cute bounce in her step.

“Hi yourself!” I said, stretching out the words longer then I intended while looking her up and down. Really heart, please settle down.

She sat down next to me. We were on the corner of the bar so it was easy to look right at her. The room lighting complimented the highlights in her hair, and she seemed to glow. My nostrils flared and eyes close automatically when I caught her fragrance and I unconsciously took a deep breath. A light musky sent that brought a smile to my face. I tried to ignore my senses as Gloria brought me my usual gin and tonic, Lilly ordered a rum and coke.

“Pink sneakers? Really?” I said with a smile in my voice.

“Shut up. That’s all I had in my car.” She said with a grin and sparkling eyes.

While Lilly was still grinning, she cocked her head to the side and looked me up and down. I liked her looking escort bilecik at me. It gave me a little tingle. I know heart, you felt that too.

“You didn’t even change! The only thing missing is your name tag.” She said with a slight chuckle in her voice.

“How does someone change while driving?” Shaking my head and more wondering out loud than really asking a question.

“Very carefully!” Slowly dragging out the words.

We talked for another hour or so about families, movies, music and even politics. We share very similar views. I told her who the nice people on campus were and who to stay away from. She liked to workout, martial arts mostly. she is a brown belt working towards black. I told her I like to work on old cars. She told me about her last boyfriend Tom and how they broke up. They never really went anywhere and he was emotionally detached. He was basically a human Symbian. (Her words not mine). She dumped him 6 months ago, and had been flying solo ever since.

We had another drink, and there was a lull in the conversation. I was staring off into space when I thought to myself, this feels a little like a date. Except, I didn’t think it, I said. You know in that voice you use when you’re talking to yourself. Heart, did you make me say that out loud?

“Oh Andi, if this was a date, you would know it!” She whispered, with her sparkling eyes looking deep into mine, and a charming but naughty smile lighting up her face. At the same time, leaning close to me, she put her right hand on my thigh and gave it a little squeeze. The scent of her cologne made my nostrils flair again, and I’m sure I started to sweat. My heart was beating out of my chest, I couldn’t argue with it right now.

Not knowing at all what to say, “Oh yeah, how’s that?” Thank God I didn’t stutter.

She continues whispering and rotating her hand to my inner thigh and another little squeeze. “Well, if I were gay, and this were a real date,…by now I would have snaked my skinny little hand down the front of your pants, caress that Pretty Little Pussy of yours, while whispering to you all the different ways I would love to make you cum. Then I would take you home, and do just that. How does sound PLP?”

If I were standing, my legs would have given out and I would have crumbled to the floor. My heart jumped out of my chest and started dancing on the bar and my brain was wrestling with what she just said. God, it felt good to hear some dirty talk again…she was making me wet…….

“Why… why… why, would you say that?” Stuttering now for the second time in my life.

With a Cheshire Cat grin. ” Oh, just to see the shocked look on your face”

I had to look away, I didn’t want her to see me smiling. “Your such a tease.”

“Yeah, and good fantasy material too.” She said in a sexy voice and looking at me to see if I was smiling.

My head in a fog. “What?!?” As I looked back at her.

“Oh please, don’t sit there and tell me you’re not going to rub one out when you get home tonight…..I know I will.” she was looking me right in the eyes.

“Your incorrigible!” I said, again looking away, but this time she caught me smiling.

“Thank you.!” She said with a happy smug look on her face.

I took a long draw on my drink. Why I started flirting back I don’t know. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was because it just felt soooo good to talk to a pretty woman again. A woman I think I’m attracted to, but shouldn’t be. Damn you heart. So, with one eyebrow raised and my own naughty little smile, I look deep into those beautiful blue eyes.

“And how do you know I have a Pretty Little Pussy anyway?” I know I surprised her by saying that.

“I’m just hope,…I mean, just guessing it is.” She caught herself half way through.

“So do think you have a pretty little pussy too?” I asked. The alcohol definitely loosening me up and my heart taking control even though its still dancing on the bar.

Lilly’s eyes crinkled up a bit as a huge smile crossed her face. “Could be, maybe someday you’ll find out.”

Remembering she said she’s not gay, and to stop torturing myself, I decided to shut this down. “Well, this has been fun, but I think it’s time to leave. This is a school night after all.”

“If you insist.” She said with disappointment in her voice and a frown on her face.

I picked up my heart from the bar and put it back in my chest. Then we walked out into the cold January night. Shivering a little as we wrapped our coats around ourselves tightly.

We stood on the sidewalk near the door we just came out of. She stood about a foot away, and faced me. Repeating something from earlier I didn’t mean to say out loud.

“You’re right Andi, this does feel a little like a date. Can I give you a kiss goodnight?”

Shut up heart. “I don’t think that’s a good idea Lilly.”

“Not even on the cheek?” She said with a frown and puppy dog eyes.

In a very compassionate bilecik escort bayan voice and looking down into those beautiful sparkling eyes and with all the willpower I could muster. “Look,…Lilly,….your very pretty, and I can’t say I’m not somewhat attracted to you,….but you said you’re straight,….I’m gay, nothing is gonna happen…..Even if you wanted to switch teams tonight to entertain some sort of curious fantasy…..I don’t think I could do that…..I’m not looking for anything like that.”

I had to look away from those beautiful eyes because I was about to break, I could have easily made love to her, hell part of me wanted to, ya, you heart. But I knew it would just be a one night stand, and I was done with those. Turning back at her, the little smile Lilly had is now gone.

I paused another second or two then continued. “Lilly, I’m almost 30…..I need to start thinking long term……So….unless you’re willing, no eager, to be in a long term, committed relationship, with a woman, please stop coming on to me.” That should quiet you heart….. for a while anyway.

She lowers her head for a few seconds then looks back up at me. Her eyes still look pretty, but aren’t sparkling anymore. I definitely took the wind out of her sails.

“Your right,….I’m sorry…..I’m just so God damn lonely. Flying solo just isn’t doing it for me anymore. Sometimes…..I wish I didn’t break up with Tom. At least I would have some sort human contact once or twice a week. It’s just,….it’s just I never felt this comfortable with anyone else before,….ever! I mean, I know we’ve only known each other for a few hours, but it feels like so much longer to me…….I guess I got carried away with the possibility of a warm body next to me tonight…..Again I’m sorry, please forgive me.”

I took a half a step closer and tenderly put my hands on her upper arms. “Look, I feel very comfortable around you too. And the thought of holding someone warm next to me tonight sounds better than you know. It’s been a long time for me too. But I can’t do hook ups anymore……I just can’t…. Look….. we can still be friends, but that’s as far as it goes.” Take that heart.

“OK….but can one friend give another friend a kiss on the cheek?” She said looking up at me as the sparkle returned to her eyes and the left side of her lips started to curl up.

“I guess so…..” Aspirated, and dragging out the words.

I turned my head and leaned down my 5’10″body, while Lilly tippy toed up her 5’4″ frame a little. Then she cups the side of my face with her surprisingly warm hand and gives me a lingering, pillow soft, sweet, tender, kiss on my cheek. I sighed. Yeah,…I know heart, that does feel good. Then she moved her mouth next to my ear and whispered,

“I’ll bet you do have a Pretty Little Pussy.” Smiles, then scampered away quickly to avoid my ire.

“Damn you!” I said in mock anger…..trying desperately not to smile.

Now about 10 feet from me, and slowing down. She turned around and started walking backwards and in a voice that conveyed, got ya! “Good night PLP!”

“She’s gonna be the death of me” I mumbled to myself as I turn toward my car.


It was well after 1am when I pulled in my driveway. As I walked up the stairs to my second floor apartment, my mind was a mess replaying the events of the day. I was lucky to find a two car garage with a nice place above. The first stall is for my daily driver. The second is for my pride and joy, a red 1965 Mustang convertible. My dad and I spent years restoring it, I felt so close to him back then. It’s been almost 3 years since cancer took him from me. God I miss him. At least I stopped crying every night.

He fully accepted me when I came out. It wasn’t even an issue. He hugged me tight and told me he would always be proud of me no matter what. “Whatever makes you happy” he said. He was a strong yet gentle man. Kind to fault. I still struggle to deal with the loss.

I plucked a bottle of water out of my small fridge, in my small kitchen, in my small apartment. Then sat down in my dad’s recliner. The one I stole from his man cave a few weeks after he died. I bet mom doesn’t even realize it’s gone. She can’t bring herself to even go in there. The dark brown leather is holding up well.

My cell rings, it’s Katie, my best friend.

“I saw your lights come on, you’re getting home kinda late tonight, is everything OK?” She said in a concerned and friendly voice.

“Ya know Katie, sometimes it’s great that you live next door, but then you also know my comings and goings.” I said, not really minding at all.

“Hey, somebody has to look out for you. So again, everything OK?”

“Ya, I just stopped for a drink before I came home from work that’s all.” Hoping she would just leave it at that.

“Ooo… what’s her name?” Katie said excitedly.

“How do know there’s….” I sighed and gave in “why do I even try to fool you…… Lilly.”

“Lilly, nice name, where did you meet?” She said anxiously, waiting for every detail.

“She’s a new security guard at the university.”

“What else?”

“Oh nothing……nothing that a miracle couldn’t cure……She says she’s not gay.” I said, not trying to hide my disappointment.

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